well. today, my jc-cum-student life came to an official close. somehow i thought it'd be more noteworthy. i didn't say very much today, cos i was busy observing my surroundings. in the morning, thoughts whirled in my head as i showered and put on my uniform, as i heard the double beep of the ezlink tapper, as i listened to the train announcer go "next station, yio chu kang". everything seemed to carry a little more significance today. even as i "strolled leisurely" into the parade square at the last minute, the ground beneath my feet felt different.
i can't say that i'll miss ajc, or that i'm not happy to be leaving. but the past one and a half years have flown very quickly, and i'm still trying to grapple with that. i guess i'll always remember ajc as the place i grew up most in. it was here that much of the world lost it's rose-coloured tint, and it was here that i finally wised up to the ways of the world. i've lost my belief in many things, but also reaffirmed my faith for others. it is here that i saw both the best and worst in mankind, though more of the latter than the former. there are things i'm happy to finally be able to leave behind, and things i'm glad i can take this opportunity to let go of (read carefully: it means different things. hone your gp).
of course, the first test of how much and how well i've grown, is the looming, dark, thunderous cloud of the a levels. the time has come for me to take flight, and i'm ready to rise up to the challenge - LET'S GO.
i realise i've been psyching myself up a lot these days, trying to fool myself into buying my own show of confidence. i guess that's how i deal; thats how i calm my mind.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for study break;
He restoreth my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits
for my grades' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades,
I will not have a nervous breakdown
for Thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.
Thou givest me answers in my moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.
Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me
all the days of my examinations,
and I shall not have to dwell in this misery forever.
say it with me,
AMEN.
